I sat at my desk. Making notes. Looking back on old goals. Looking ahead. My soul itching. An ember of hope flickering. Yet, I found myself scratching my head thinking Here I am again, it must be that time of year.
At least I can notice it now. With every November/December time frame comes a stirring in my soul. Look back where I’ve been, then look ahead to where I’m going. It’s all part of setting goals and forging ahead. But this time there was frustration mounting. The fire burning within me was wavering. I could feel it. Then out of my mouth the words slipped in a quiet whisper,
“Oh Lord, who am I?”
Those quiet words took me back. I chuckled. Louder and louder. How many times am I going to ask myself that? I thought.
For days that scene baffled me. Who am I? Seriously! You would think at forty blah, blah, blah years of age I’d know that answer. Am I a writer, author, teacher, mother, daughter, wife, friend, ministry leader? Who am I, Lord? Who? What do You want me to focus on?
Not knowing whether to laugh or cry over the seriousness of those whispered words I began to dig in deeper to God’s word and His message to me. Finally in a quiet moment I felt the still whisper of God (which was much more comforting than my whisper!).
You are my child. Follow Me.
Alene,
Asking that question…again? I know,its silly,but I too do the same thing.
love ya~Tammy
I find myself doing the same thing, then chastising myself – stop that, you're too old for that. No quarterlife crisis for you! But I'm slowly learning that while sometimes I "forget" and need a reminder, sometimes who I am is actually changing :)
Your words resonate in my heart this morning. I am consistently asking God to tell me who I am, and he constantly reminds me that I am His. From one 40 blah blah blah woman to another, that's all that matters!
I am HIS. Amen to that, Barbie!
Glad to know I'm not the only one asking the question, Alene. ;o)
Alene, thank you so much for your visit today to my little corner of the world and for yoru sweet words. But most importantly, so thankful that by you stopping by, it allowed me to find your blog.
I am the same way. Around this time of the year I start looking back, wondering if I am there yet, and definitely ask myself that question. can;t wait for tomorrow's continuation.
Maria @ A Blooming Spirit
@Amanda – ha! Loved that "quarter life crisis" and the idea that we do change over time… but remain His precious girl. It's such an important focus for this season and every season. Thank you Alene!
What a great post! I can relate on so many levels! I look forward to part two!
I can relate on so many levels! Great post! I look forward to part two!
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I hate to say, I'm glad you question too because that doesn't sound nice. But your comments bring me comfort. So thankful we are HIS!!!
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girl, i ask myself this too. can't wait to hear how the Lord answered you. : )
i like to think that i have myself together, but I ask myself this question a lot which shows I have a lot of growing to do.
Amen! Sometimes it takes a couple of still moments to realize that it's just that… we are His! And nothing else matters as much.
Thanks for your sweet comment & for linking up. Blessings!
Oh, I can so relate! I'm so thankful to be His!
And your '40 blah blah blah' made me smile :)