The sun was shining bright and I could hear the birds chirping rather happily as I stretched and rolled out of bed. My mood sure didn’t match that of the new season bursting forth.
While the world around me seemed to be screaming new season, new birth, new day, new everything, my soul felt something so different.
It had been a season of sorrow, wrestling, sadness and despair. A time where I’d rather not be struggling, but instead experiencing the joys for what lies ahead.
When we would prefer to celebrate.
I didn’t want to wade through the days ahead. I didn’t want to experience the struggle to become something new. If I were a caterpillar I didn’t want to wiggle and squirm in this dark confining space, I wanted to burst forth and just be a beautiful butterfly.
It’s so much easier to celebrate than to sit in your sorrow.
This Easter season, I’ve thought of that a lot. My heart longs to celebrate. CELEBRATE! For the love of Pete, who wants to sit in a season of struggle.
I’ve been mindful that that’s how I’ve treated the Easter season for decades. Without much thought about the lament and sorrow Jesus experienced leading up to His Risen day, I just longed to celebrate.
Maybe you’re like that too?
You’d rather just plan and celebrate Christmas without the thought of the 400 years of God’s silence leading up to Jesus birth.
You’d rather just wake up and experience a glorious celebratory sunrise service at Easter than to think of the sorrow, struggle, and betrayal Jesus felt leading up to that moment of resurrection.
That’s me for certain!
I’ve realized I’d much rather celebrate the glorious moments with my Jesus, than to wrestle with and think on the despair of the trials He experienced. Let’s talk miracles, not betrayals and murder.
A season to sit in it.
Waking up that morning and preferring to be anywhere other than sitting in my sorrow, I was challenged to let go and “sit in it.”
It seemed like a crazy word in the moment.
Sit in it.
Honestly, I didn’t want to “sit in it” and stay in this moment. I longed to fight hard and wrestle through to the good days again. And I wondered if that was how Jesus felt.
He knew what was before him. He knew the world would turn black and he would be bloodied and bruised before the good days ever came again. But seriously, did He ever just want to shout HALLELUJAH and use His power to arrange the moments where he would quickly be to the glorious days sooner?
And did He find it hard to be patient and calm during His dark days?
Nobody likes dark days of sorrow.
Taking on that crazy challenge to “sit in it” opened my eyes to many truths. Of course realizing that without the struggle, our celebrations aren’t near as meaningful as they can be.
If we were to walk through the days leading up to Good Friday on Jesus timeline leading up to his resurrection and lament over what He went through, come Easter morning our celebration of new life would have such a deeper meaning. Easter would definitely become more than bunnies, eggs, baskets, shoes, and dresses.
But we treat the Easter season how we do the rest of our lives as we long to rush through hard times.
We don’t want to be patient in our season of divorce, we’re ready to lunge ahead to the next man.
We don’t want to give ourselves permission to grieve the loss of someone, we want to rush the days of lament.
We don’t want to watch our children struggle, our patience gives way and we want to fix it all for them.
We don’t want to acknowledge our days of financial failure, instead we long for the next big thing.
The list could go on and on because no one wants to sit in sorrow. So instead we try to wrestle it to the ground and manipulate it into something we can celebrate.
Joy can be found in letting go.
Sitting in the struggle was hard. It took every patient fiber within my being to accept the season of mourning. It was a daily struggle to let go.
I had to release the urge to hold on to something that wasn’t mine to hold on to. Literally holding my opened palms out, I’d remind myself that I couldn’t grasp ahead to anything to rush me through the lengthy days of sorrow.
Practicing this patience of letting go, there was a joy that sprang forth amid the trial as I realized it is OK to not be OK.
It’s alright to take time to wrestle and grieve, knowing that if you keep your eyes on Jesus you will come to know Him more intimately as He struggled too.
It’s time to let go of the burden of longing to celebrate. Give yourself patience in your struggle as Jesus well knows that you can’t rush the days of sorrow.
Release your grip and sit in this season. You will be amazed, joy is on the horizon!