Why did it take a near-death experience for me to realize how important a few things were in my life? Eighteen months ago when I was a busted up mess, I couldn’t think nor function very clearly on my own.
I felt like Lazarus, entombed within four dark walls wondering when I’d ever get out. Alright, Lazarus probably wasn’t thinking at all because he truly was dead. But what he nor I could realize was that there was so much going on behind the scenes on our behalf.
While I could not think clearly, friends and family rallied around — praying, serving, and looking out for me. I can only see the magnitude of how they got me through by looking back at those dark days. It’s hard and it’s painful to look back and process, but the blessings that I see are incredible.
I’ve always been one that believes in community.
Not necessarily community or tribe as we refer to it today as it seems to just be a buzz word taken for granted. As a matter of fact, I kind of buck the system when I feel community is forced. The mantra of “Sign up for this group to be a part and make incredible friendships” always seems to leave me running the other way.
But an authentic and unscripted friendship or community, I’m totally in two-hands down every single time. Unrehearsed friendships formed through thick and thin are where life gets better. That type of community is built deep, not wide.
So hopping back in and studying the story of Lazarus has been a treat. I grew up knowing the story of Lazarus from felt boards and coloring books in Sunday School. Lazarus got sick. Lazarus died. Jesus wept and raised Lazarus from that dark tomb four days later.
But there is so much more to this precious story of old.
It was community and deep friendships that bring this story to a place of resurrection. Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus that Lazarus was sick. Jesus, a dear friend, said this sickness would not end in death. Jesus loved this family and while he did not show up immediately, he eventually did. When Jesus arrives Lazarus is “sleeping” and Jesus tells him to “come out”, after he has those standing by to remove the stone.
As Lazarus walks out of his smelly dark cave grave, I’m amazed at what happens next. It’s pretty much the secret behind every resurrection.
Jesus tells the community, “Take off his grave clothes.”
Say what? Jesus wanted the community to take his smelly death-ridden clothes off. Notice he did not tell Lazarus to walk it out on his own, he told the community to help him.
Resurrections do not happen by themselves.
I felt buried in darkness for months. Others feel buried for years. But it took a community to help raise me out of the dark. When I couldn’t function, friends and family functioned for me. When I was riddled with questions, the community simply prayed.
Right after the accident, a friend called one afternoon. “Alene, can a few people come and pray for you this evening.” I might have been a broken mess, but I knew enough to say sure.
I figured two or three friends would show up to pray. But what I witnessed was a miracle in and of itself. One dear friend after another kept filing into my living room. These were deep friends. Friends that have been there with me through joys and sorrows. And here they were all standing in one room, and as I looked around I cried.
I cried as I felt so honored that these remarkable women and a man would show up for me. Business women, attorney’s, pastors, prayer warriors, and friends. Community that has always been by my side even while our paths don’t cross every day. Each one with such an amazing background, but there for only one purpose — help Alene see the Light beyond this trial.
Unbeknownst to me, these thirteen people had no idea why they were there. When the friend called and said “Alene needs prayer,” they all dropped what they were doing and showed up. To me — that’s community. Dirty, messy, un-rushed, and ready to meet a friend in her darkest time of need. They gave me the faith to hang on when all seemed bleak. They gave me the confidence to pray and claim “complete healing.”
For a girl who cringes at the word community, I now see how deep friendships are the true secret to making it through trials and grief. When I couldn’t pray, they did. When I couldn’t see where to step, they pointed to the path ahead. When I was losing identity due to hair loss, community stopped by with cute hats some even crocheted on their own, and always with prayer.
For those struggling, find your closest friends. Those you trust so you can be vulnerable with them. Tell them your struggles and let them take over. Don’t cringe when friends show up to help. Let them love you, serve you, and pray for you.
Jesus knew the secret. Resurrections happen through the gift of community. Lazarus needed people. I need people. You will need people.
That’s the secret to getting through the hard times — deep friendships — community.