I sat there. Looking around ever so quietly.
I had come with a friend to chapel. It had been years since I had been inside this small quaint church.
I kept trying to quiet my mind.
My thoughts kept racing. I wanted to make time stand still and enjoy the presence of Jesus. I looked up a spotted a Jesus statue -like figure on the wall. I gazed looking for the stillness that He has to offer.
As I continued to seek His peace, my mind quickly shifted to thinking this is not even how I picture Jesus. And more crazy thoughts ensued.
I’m not sure how Jesus looks or looked. I’m not sure even how you picture him. But one thing I know is that . . .
I can’t do the pretty Jesus anymore.
If I thought my mind was out of control when I went in to that chapel, it was definitely rattled further as I sat there looking at this artwork of Jesus.
This Jesus there on the wall was so pretty. He hung on a cross with not a mark on him. His head was hung low with a low grin on his lips. His hair fell neatly, almost perfectly, over his shoulders. Three nails pierced Him, but not a trickle of blood showed. He was so clean. Don’t get me wrong, it was beautiful. But too beautiful I believe!
I remembered when I wanted Jesus to be neat and pretty. I didn’t want to see the whip marks, bruises, blood, matted hair, tears, stains, thorns smashed in his head, nor the thick-rusty nails that were thrust through his limbs. I didn’t want to see that version of Jesus because . . .
It made me uncomfortable.
I remember the outcries when the Passion of the Christ movie came out. It’s too bloody. It’s too violent. It’s too gross. And it was for many!
See I use to want the pretty Jesus so that I could be comfortable. Comfort was where it was all at! If I was comfortable then I wouldn’t have to think about how Jesus really lived or died. I could just read my Bible and picture the clean, masculine, beautiful-haired Jesus walking the streets. I could overlook the dust, stench, and blood. I could go to church, sing “feel good” songs, and hear an uplifting message and think WOW this Christian life is awesome!
That was until Jesus got a hold of me.
That life with Jesus was awesome, but it was so self-seeking. It was a life of “all about me!” I wanted Jesus to look the way I wanted Jesus to look. I wanted a nice church where everyone was like me, awesome songs, and the perfect message so that I could go home and live the remaining 6 days for me.
I loved being comfortable. Don’t you?
But then this messy, bloody, and ever-so-generous Jesus got a hold of my heart. Oh how He grabbed my heart good one day. He grabbed it in scripture and in my daily life. He wouldn’t let go. It was uncomfortable!
He gave me eyes to see. He opened them wide where I could see the messy, broken, dusty, dirty, and beaten. The people who were discarded from society. My heart would beat and tears would flow. Dear one, it was then that I saw Jesus. He didn’t look anything like that Jesus in the chapel.
He was a messy Savior.
When I stepped out of my comfort zone and looked at the broken world, I was speechless. It went against everything I had ever known, because it was not comfortable. But it was then that I saw Jesus more perfectly than ever. Oh my, He was beautiful.
Jesus was messy! He had tattered clothes, he looked worn, and he even smelled. There were days when he was stripped of all that mattered. He didn’t care. He walked among the least and diseased. He was dirty.
He was dusty. He was broken. He was abused. He was caring and compassionate. He was messy, but oh so beautiful.
And that’s the reason I can’t do the pretty Jesus anymore.
I lived longing to be comfortable way too long. And what I know now is: while longing for your comfort zone and a Savior who makes you feel comfortable, you will miss the real Jesus. <—tweet that!
How about you? Is your life so comfortable that you are actually out of touch with the way Jesus lived and died?
I’m hanging out with Jennifer Dukes Lee today as we #tellhisstory.
beautiful and oh-so-true, friend. and speaking on the Passion of the Christ, seeing that movie gave this already appreciative girl an even greater appreciation for what Christ did for us on the Cross. i want real, not easy.
janelle marie
gracecalling.net
That movie was awesome. I think it was the first true glimpse of reality for many that Jesus led a messy life and died a brutal death. Love my Savior!
I clicked on a twitter link from James MacDonald the other day and ended up here: http://thedayjesusdied.com/ — Your post was like a big AMEN to what I experienced. He was certainly not recognizable by the end of that terrible day, but I would agree with you that He is the most beautiful God-man ever. So thankful!
Went to that site — oh my!!!! Thank you for sharing.
This was beautiful and what I needed today. I finally told my husband I would watch Passion of the Christ with him this weekend. It’s a movie I’ve avoided for a long time for similar reasons. Blessings to you.
Please, please, please watch it. Then I’d love to hear your reactions. Warning — it will not be comfortable. But I think it’s the most accurate of what I’ve seen as to what our Jesus went through. Friday’s here, but Sunday’s a coming!!! Hallelujah.
Alene, I wanted to be sure to stop by and share with you that I did watch the Passion of the Christ yesterday. Most of it was spent wanting to cover my eyes, but at the same time knowing I needed to watch what he went through. I cried and cried. And then to see him alive again…Hallelujah!!!
I’m a relatively new Christian and this past week has been both emotional and life changing for me. I’m still taking it all in. Thank you for your kind heart.
Beautiful words here! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving kind comments! I can’t imagine the big heart you must have to go to the jail every Saturday! I have never been inside a jail, but I believe the mental hospitals or behavioral issues units that I was referring to in my post are a kind of prison. In fact often times the patients are prisoners, ordered there by a judge and sometimes after a crime has been committed. But many times, they are just broken and need of mending. They are confined to the building they are housed in for an undetermined amount of time, and in many ways they are prisoners within themselves. Sometimes treatments helps them to break free, sometimes it doesn’t. Only the God that we serve could help me to see the beauty and grace in a place like that. I’m in awe that Jesus shows himself there. I’m privileged to help alleviate these burdens in some small way. I have a burden for the broken, the lonely, and the fearful. I just don’t do near enough. So glad to meet you sister!
The two are so similar right. I often tell the girls in the jail that just because I’m not locked up doesn’t mean that I haven’t lived in a prison. Our own prison walls at times can be just as suffocating. I am thankful to meet you — and if you are serving those sweet people, you are doing a lot friend. Keep up with great work!
Beautiful, Alene. Reminded me of a book on my shelf, “But I was so happy shallow!” It’s true until He gets a-hold of us (as we say in VA). Nothing compares to being broken in Him.
I think I might need that book!!!
Oh I know, I know Jesus isn’t pretty. Isaiah even says so. But sometimes in this life of raising my girls, when they are still so insulated, I wonder how to help them grasp all of Jesus. Because right now, it feels safe and pretty to follow Jesus. They have no real understanding what has been given up to live this kind of life. And I wonder, when and how they will see the whole Jesus. Not sure I am making sense….but you sure got my wheels spinning.
Girl – they will see Him, they have you for a mom!! Loving and learning about Jesus when kids are little is a great thing. They learn to trust him, where when they are older and the time is right they can step out and follow Him boldly because they have built that foundation of trust. The marvelous things you do with your daughters in caring for others or feeding other families speaks volumes. You are precious.
Yes…give me Jesus…the real one. not the made up, easy to love one. No…cuz I’m not easy to love and it’s me He died for…I want that Guy…
beautiful, friend…thank you for stirring my heart.
The Real Guy and Friend!!! He’s perfect. Love ya
Yes! Love this honesty Alene! This lent season is making this real to me and I’m with you- as much as we want Him to be- He isn’t comfortable or “pretty”- and still… He’s more attract-ive than anything else out there!
Great post, Alene! As I was reading your post it reminded me of Isaiah 53. The last part of verse 2 says, ” He hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, [there is] no beauty that we should desire him.”
The whole chapter describes what you are talking about. Thanks for the reminder!
Awesome scripture! He had no beauty that we should desire Him, yet we spend our lives chasing beauty. Slay me!!!
Powerful & thought-provoking! Thanks for sharing this, Alene.
Alene, I’ve heard so many people say they can’t bear to look at a bloody crucifix, but that was the reality. And the gruesomeness sinks the reality deeper into my heart, what He did for me and makes me ever so much more grateful than the pretty Jesus.