The holidays have such a way of bringing out ALL the feels. It seems emotions burst forth from every corner of your mind. For some today it is not merry and bright, but rather a melancholy Christmas.
If that is you, just know it’s alright.
There’s no need to hide that you aren’t in the spirit. Life has a way of blessing or drowning us in different seasons, and unfortunately many times those days certainly do not correspond with the seasons greetings we feel we should be experiencing.
I remember the year my daddy went to be with Jesus. While he passed in October, when December rolled around I still was numb. I could have cared less about decorations, pretty bows, or baking. I just didn’t have it in me. My children coming home for the holidays expected bright lights, five trees (I know – overkill, but that’s me), ribbons, garland, and a festive spirit.
Not feeling up to the fuss, I stuck up one 9 foot pre-lit Christmas pencil tree and called it Christmas.
My kids were aghast when they arrived. They had told their friends how my house is always decked out and when they all walked in there was nothing but a lonely pre-lit tree standing. No decor, just white shining lights on a bare tree.
But you know what, it didn’t matter in the big scheme of things. What did matter was that we were all together.
Some of you are grieving this Christmas and the days are dark. It is your first Christmas without a loved one and I want you to know you are not alone. There are others grieving too, and we will all get through this.
Maybe you haven’t lost a loved one, but your family has been pulled apart by divorce. This can bring on a heavy heart as you try to navigate new traditions, blended families, and awkward situations. Hang in there, you will make it through.
And does anyone else just cry big snot sobs when they here the song I’ll be Home for Christmas? There are many who would love to celebrate with their loved ones and can’t because of distance. Twenty-three years of military life etched those feelings of holiday loneliness deep. Hug those you are with and don’t take a moment for granted.
If it’s a melancholy Christmas, remember these four things:
First, don’t let others expectations make you feel guilty. While my children did not understand at the time, it was fine for them to understand that sometimes Christmas isn’t a day of cheer for some people.
Second, make yourself be with those you love. Make — yes, make. If you don’t feel like getting out of bed, force yourself to at least do that. Be with those you love and embrace their presence. Those moments are precious no matter how you are feeling. We might not have had an adorned house that December, but we were together as a family.
Third, remember this season shall pass. Your season of grief and this seasonal holiday will pass quicker than you realize. And just so you know, I hate it when people tell me “this season shall pass.” But recently I visited with a friend who suffers from anxiety and she shared that she tries to see the moments as waves. You know the wave is coming, that is will crest, and that it will diminish. Such are our seasons. When you are in them it feels like you are drowning, but if you relax and realize the wave will pass it makes the moment a little less intense.
Fourth, gaze upon the reason for this season. Even if your having a blue Christmas, look to the reason for this holiday. It’s to celebrate JESUS. And that should put a smile on our faces or I hope it will. Without his birth, we would not have HOPE. Hope that tomorrow will be better than today. Hope that we’ll see loved ones again in heaven. And a hope that Jesus will restore our broken hearts.
You know what, I made it through my melancholy Christmas. And we still recount and tell the stories how my children and their friends showed up to see my decorated house and all they got was a bare-pencil tree. While that was a hard year, we can now tell the stories with big smiles and laughter.
My prayer for you today is that while you may want to climb back under the covers, you’ll instead fix your eyes on Jesus and enjoy the quiet moments with your loved ones.
Merry Christmas friend!