Grasping —
I try to understand, but my mind won’t go there. It’s hard to grasp why unspoken voices of the past haunt.
Maybe it’s because there’s too much left unsaid. Those times when a dear friend stabbed you in the back, but you didn’t say anything for fear of making the situation worse. Or that time when your husband lashed out at you unmercifully and then expected your love, while you internalized the hurt of his actions. And that time when your neighbor cussed you out, you were hurt and embarrassed, but you smiled and nodded as if all were OK.
Those unspoken words, voices, that linger in your heart they beckon to be heard. They long to be brought to light.
Can I ask why you chose to be silent? Was it grace? Was it fear?
Can we bring those voices to light?
Not to hurt, but yet to help heal. To help process the past, and grasp the future.
I know it’s hard to grasp!!
Here’s my 31 Days . . .
Dear Friend,
Have you ever wished you could voice the “real” story or thoughts to a situation you found lingering within your soul?
When I wrote a letter to my teenage self, I realized there was so much more I really wanted to say but felt I couldn’t. I didn’t want to bash others, it was more of I wanted to express my real heart feelings to a certain situation. However, I knew if I did it might hurt others or others would misconstrue what I was trying to say.
So I kept quiet instead of processing what was attached to my heart.
Then I had a few friends mention in round-about-ways “I’d love to tell my story, if only I could do it anonymously.” Oh, I could feel their heart. There is always more to a story and that part of the story doesn’t get told, because in our good heart we DO NOT WANT TO HURT OTHERS.
But what I’ve learned in years of ministry and coaching others is that those stories that never get told – those are the precious moments where we can go deeper and learn more. It’s those stories that make us question and evaluate ourselves. That’s where we learn what hurts others, how we are unaware that some words and actions inflict pain, and we also learn truths that haven’t been revealed to us yet. So in the untold story there is a minefield of untold lessons, life, and love of God.
So, this is where I throw out a challenge —
While God continues to impress upon my heart these stories that are untold, I’ve looked for ways to tell the untold that will make the realization of God’s love grow deeper within each of us. And while all this stirs within my heart and I wonder what all this means, I’m going to step out and begin a 31 Day series on my blog beginning October 1st. The title of the series is “31 Days of Anonymity.”
I would love for YOU to write out a story of an incident that happened in your life, where there was so much more to the story than what others knew. This is not a hate letter – those will not be posted – this instead is a “this is what happened, this is how someone reacted with words-actions-discipline hurt – and this is what I wish I could have told others.” (not a reprimand – a heart letter explaining why it hurt).
Your letter can start out —
Dear Anonymous, Dear Sister-in-Law, Dear Friend, Dear Rapist, Dear Pastor, Dear Man on the Street, etc. (no names, please)
Dear Friend – at the death of my daughter, this is what you said, and it hurt my heart because . . .
Dear Church – when I was going through my divorce, I felt so alienated and judged. When you did this it almost drove me beyond my breaking point . . .
Dear Boyfriend – while you took something so valuable from me, my heart has struggled with this for years. What I really wanted to tell you . . .
Dear Photographer – I’m sorry, it’s that camera. I wish I could tell you the horrible things I was made to do growing up that were photographed then you’d understand why I run . . .
Your letter will be signed — Love, Anonymous.
THERE WILL NOT BE A LINK TO YOU. WHAT YOU SHARE WITH ME WILL BE KEPT ANONYMOUS. I know this takes a great deal of trust on your part and I hope over the years I have earned your trust. I will not release any information. I am only hear to give you a voice, so we can all learn through trying situations.
I want to give:
A voice to you whose hurts lie deep within, but you have chose to extend grace and not argue or rebut the situation.
A voice to you who are afraid to tell the truth of your story for fear of rejection and what others will think.
A voice for you to tell your story so you can see you are not alone.
A voice to you so we can all learn more.
Note, as comments come in there is no need for you to get involved or even feel like you need to comment. If you’d like to answer a thought or comment feel free to do so as “anonymous.”
If you have any other questions, please email alenesnodgrass (at) gmail (dot) com.
The story should be 550+/- words. ALL stories will be EDITED for grammar and content. ALL stories while they might get a little tense must end with ENCOURAGEMENT. (what you learned, and how God helped you move on despite the deep wound) Email your story to alenesnodgrass (at) gmail (dot) com.
I hope you’ll submit your story. I know God has so much to teach each one of us through your untold heart story.
Day Seven – Dear Church Family
Day Nine – Dear HS Drill Team Instructor
Day Eleven – Dear Ministry Leader
Day Thirteen – Dear Partner in Crime
Day Fourteen – Dear Church Body
Day Fifteen – Dear Commercialized Halloween
Day Sixteen – Dear Technically Legal Girl
Day Seventeen – Dear Breast Cancer
Day Eighteen – Dear Pastor’s Wife
Day Twenty Two – Dear Pregnant Me in 1989
Day Twenty Three – Dear Church Member
Day Twenty Five – Dear Teacher
Day Twenty Six – Dear Bible Study Leader
Day Twenty Seven – Dear Sweet Sister
Day Twenty Eight – Dear Favorite Teacher
Day Twenty Nine – Dear Family and Friends
Day Thirty One – Dear Middle Child
I’m glad I stopped by for Five Minute Friday. It can be hard to grasp the why’s of people’s behavior. Interesting what you chose for this word. I love how we can each take the word for today and personalize it.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
That’s one of the reasons I love writing for 5MF — all the different perspectives over one word is just interesting to me! Have a great weekend. Blessings.
I refuse to be offended… I rebuke… I write a letter of forgiveness then burn it. I write a letter asking for forgiveness of sins committed years ago …. I burn it. This reminds me of that. Forgive the offender and burn it. Writing is healing and very therapeutic… Get the burden off your back, lay it at the feet of the throne. That’s hard for some people to grasp but you are helping those in pain and God will bless you mightily for your kindness and sincerity.
Thanks Kathleen – you are eons ahead of most of us who have a hard time forgiving and letting go. We all know God says forgive but sometimes the process of forgiving others takes time. It’s a process. I’m loving the letters that are coming in. They are silent words that have needed a voice. My heart sings and cries all at the same time! Blessings.
Looking forward to your 31 Days series! Such a great idea – one that will be hugely comforting and encouraging, I’m sure.
Jamie . . . . you need to send me a letter! Can’t wait for the 31 days — well, maybe I can. I’ll be stressing about getting it all done for the whole month. HAHA no pressure, huh?
Plus the inspiration of Jeff Goins has me writing!!! So glad to be moving again. Can’t wait to release a new eBook…
Interesting perspective: the words left unsaid. For me, all to often it’s the words I WISH I’d left unsaid.
I’m with you on this one, Mary Beth!
Yep Yep Yep — I got me some of those kinds of words too!!! Too many actually and I’m learning from some of these letters it is those words spoken that have left large wounds in others. Oh for the love of pete or rather GOD, may we all guard our tongues!!!
What a wonderful idea…I know writing has been very healing…especially writing in my journal and trusting God with my raw feelings of what happened..thank you, Alene, for giving others an opportunity to do this…blessings to you :)
I agree!!! If it weren’t for my journey there would have been days I couldn’t have made it! Gotta have that journal and my God time every morning. Writing out those thoughts that linger help process them. It’s easier to see the truth when it’s written in black and white.
Oh the healing found in letting those words spill out.
love your heart and your heart-mending idea…
I’m going to pray about it, for it, through it!
Nikki – oh please submit. I’m praying for you girl!!! I’m going to have to hop on the twitter party next week.
Oh Alene, the healing that might happen. The burdens that can be realized. Loving your heart, loving your idea, loving your blog. Time permitting, I have a story I will pray about. Thank you friend for always encouraging.
I’ll be praying too so you’ll submit it. It doesn’t have to be long. Just looking for the just of the situation and what needs to be said. Love getting to know you and your girls. Blessings!
Oh my.. a chance to let the hurt out, in a way thats not threatning or shaming.. God is about letting us heal from the inside out, and so.. the challenge is on, Alene..I will prayerfully go to my Abba Father, and ask for grace to pen the words of my heart that have been silenced.. I pray He graces me with healing in the process.. I love you, sister.. Your heart, and spirit is humble, and strong.. Keep writing, please, please, please keep writing, and sharing your heart !
I think you could write me a ton!!! I’ll settle for just a few. Joking aside — you have so much you can teach us all. Thanks friend.
The Lord uses the worst of times to prepare us for the Best of Times as His servant.. Though my heart knows grief in the past, and shame, and sorrow, and pain, it also knows He is walking me out of that, just as He has walked you out of your stuff.. So, just saying why dont we just put on our fancy pants, and do a vigorous round of boot stompin’ dance of praise as we rejoice in the celebration of God’s perfect healing in His time for our lives, dear sister..
Enjoyed this post.
Oh Alene, I love that you’re giving your readers a voice. I bet this will be a tremendous blessing so I will be praying for you, your writers and your readers. Believing The Lord will use this to bring healing and closure to those who need it at this time. Be blessed my friend in all you set your hands to do!
Hope you had a chance to check out the Letter today. It was powerful. Another great one tomorrow! My heart is so full and broken all at the same time. You want to write a letter?
I love the way that you wrote out the word grasp…I find myself in the same turmoil often, thought stirring through my mind, memories recalled over and over again.
I love your 31 day journey. What a beautiful space to give those an opportunity to share where they otherwise may not have that opportunity of voice!
Love it!
Stopping by for the first time from SITS and your idea is AMAZING! I absolutely love it. And I commend you for organizing such an event and a forum for people to heal.
Wow! This is a wonderful concept. A chance for healing. I will look forward to checking back on the letters.
Wow, thank you for coming by and leaving a comment on my 31 Day blog project. I say “Wow” because just this morning I was wondering what a writer can do about having some stories that simply cannot be told because they may hurt others who were involved. My 3 biggest stories have to be kept inside because I don’t want to harm people that I still love.
You’ve got me thinking now, I may be back with a story or two. Thank you for doing this!
Thank you, Susie! Email me and let’s talk. These stories need to be told. Blessings.
Oh my goodness Alene…..I haven’t been able to read your blog for a while and I am so glad I had time to do it today. What an amazing and blessed thing to do for your readers. I may have to borrow this idea for my own blog some day.
Thank you for allowing people to share and to heal.