As I hurried to pack my suitcase for Guatemala, I made a quick run by the nail salon. You know, you can’t leave the country without everything being just right. My girls had asked I get pink sparkly nails, so I did.
The messy beautiful.
Walking among the trash and dust around Dump City, I felt so at home. My heart pumped a new beat even though it was overwhelming.
Maybe it was because through the messy, trashy, and smelly I saw the real me. The girl who was so wrapped up in the way I looked, the way I acted, and the way I spoke that at times it can be nauseating.
But here among the messy I saw real people. No pretense, just people whose hearts cries were no different than my own.
There were moms who prayed and cried for their children. Men who longed to have their addictions conquered. And moms and children who were looking to feel of worth and value no matter what society told them.
Yes, somewhere among that messy city my pink nails, make-up, and dress didn’t matter. What mattered was the love that ran from heart to heart.
The messy is freeing.
Living in the messy somehow frees you. The ties and judgements that hold you back seem to fade into the background. It’s really a beautiful place.
Walking out of the dump community where we had opportunity to visit and pray with families, my mind couldn’t verbalize what I had just seen and heard. I knew my heart was beating for Guatemala. I knew I wanted to help. However, the needs seemed so vast it was almost paralyzing.
Walking across the street we had opportunity to serve lunch to the children at the Potter’s House. After we were briefed about the school, we headed to the cafeteria.
I didn’t know what to expect.
I know all school cafeteria’s are loud and busy. Actually, they aren’t my favorite places to be.
But this was a beautiful surprise. The cafeteria was clean and a buzz with happy, smiling children. Such a nice opposite from what I had just witnessed in the community.
We began handing out lunch trays and drinks. The children were giggling and my heart was happy to see a sign of hope after all I had witnessed in their community.
Four girls and some pink glittery nails.
I was taking it all in. I didn’t want to forget these smiles. I grabbed a few more lunch trays and headed to the next table where I sat them down in front of a four young girls.
Before I could get my hand away they had grabbed it and were going crazy over my pink glittery nails. Their giggles and curiosity melted my heart.
I watched their eyes dance and their smiles widen. They loved the pink glitter.
That’s when it hit me.
While the girls giggles made my day, there was something in me crying. These nails that I just had to have redone before the trip could easily sponsor one girl for a month. (see the sponsorship program here)
Who cares about the nails? Who cares about trying to have it all together? Who cares?
In that moment, I sure didn’t. All I wanted to do was to be able to help these children in some small way.
My glittery pink nails brought me to Yakeline.
She’s a 6th grader and an only child. Her dad has passed away. Her mom is single and works in the dump community helping others.
Yakeline’s eyes caught my attention. They sparkled and danced as we visited and she held my hand ever-so-tightly.
The tension between the messy and the beautiful is such an incredible place to be. Looking in to Yakeline’s eyes, I realized the fight to see beyond the superficial and into the heart of those who are longing for hope and help is a gift.
I’m thankful for the messy.
Hanging on to the memories from that lunch cafeteria, I still fight with the “who cares?”
The tension that stretches my heart so thin almost seems at times will break it. I’m learning at a deeper level what it means to live in the uncomfortable! True beauty is found there . . . among the messy.
Have you experienced the fight within your soul of living between the messy and the beautiful?
You can share in the comments below.
Oh, how this stirs my heart so. And yes, I’m there, in the tension between the messy and the beautiful and the “who cares.” This was not what I expected in the glittery pink tips — it was so much more. I love your heart. You’ve impacted me in more ways than you know. You’ve helped fuel my passion to be a world changer and to love the least of these. Thank you, thank you!
Love being a world-changer beside you, friend. Can’t wait to hear about your new series!!!
What I wouldn’t give for an opportunity to go and experience the messy. I love your heart!
Hey friend, we are going back! Start saving those pennies and get your passport. We’d love to show you to Guatemala. It’s a life changer.
Learning right alongside you on a deeper level what it means to live in the uncomfortable and the tension. But yes, the messy is both freeing and beautiful. Loved reading your heart here!!
I’m so glad you got to sponsor one of the girls you MET, Alene! How awesome is THAT? And your pink sparkly nails were some kinda cute ;)
But I had the same convicting thought. The money I spend on my shellac mani every 2 weeks… ouch. I’m right there with you with the stripped-down, messy, no-pretense attitude. So glad I got to spend a makeup-free week with YOU :)
I’m trying to still live in the messy, but it is so much harder here. I was WAY out of my comfort zone again yesterday and I pulled strength from much of what I learned in Guatemala. Nice to know I have you and 19 others that will hold me accountable to such — walking out life in a messy world.
Yes, the money you spent on those pink nails could have gone to a month of sponsorship BUT they also created a connection between you and the girls. God doesn’t waste anything!
Tears and smiles this morning reading your post. I can picture you with these girls. Every breath you take seems to guide you to express that love within you and to see this in others. It is a gift to me. I try my best to regift them. <3 Thanks Alene for sharing your stories. Love you always….Barb. :o)
I’m with Katie…those nails were used by God to forge a bond…a Jesus bond between you and the girls.
I have begun meeting with people in the community who are bipolar and are suicidal. This is my way of stepping outside my protected, sheltered existence into the harsh, but honest real world. They are REAL people; I have so much in common with them it’s scary. My life could be as dark and out of control as theirs, but for the grace of GOD… literally! I hope that God will use me to shine His light of love into their heart.
Amazingly enough I had the same experience the first year I went to an orphanage in Eastern Europe. The girls were thrilled with my nails. They did not have shampoo for their long hair and lacked so many of what we consider necessities. I decided to sponsor a girl with several siblings for $30 a month and give up my nail appointment. That was in 2005. I have a wonderful Moldovan daughter and now that she is independent I am sponsoring a boy. And at the cost of a nail appointment I have been given a new family, friends and blessings beyond imagination.
“The messy is freeing” is a hard lesson I am learning in my own life. I am so thankful that God is showing me the blessings that are/will come through this messiness. Thank you for sharing the messy and the beauty within.
I love that He can let us appreciate fun things like pink nails, support the business where you got them done, use them to remind us we are blessed, help you communicate and connect despite a language barrier, sponsor a child and share that opportunity and this lesson with so many. Exponential manicure blessings- ha!