It has been a wild month, a crazy (or as my girls would say “cray. cray.”) one. A month full of ups and downs, meetings, appointments, and teaching assignments. If you know me – in other words – a month I’ve loved.
I love people. I thrive around people. I need people.
But something happened this month that was unusual for this south Texas girl. I needed to attend a meeting where I would be challenged to step-it-up as a better leader. There would be 100’s there and I was pumped. Two of my favorite things: people and learning how to up your game.
The day came and out of nowhere I felt the twinges of I don’t want to go, I don’t want to be around people, and was thinking maybe I’ll just skip it. I fought myself saying that’s crazy, you’ve looked forward to this, what is your problem, get yourself focused and get there!
When I walked in these feelings I’d never experienced, but had heard about from friends, overtook me. I was wishing I could just slip into my chair anonymously or maybe invisibly. I knew I needed this leadership meeting, but if I could just have been unseen that day that would have worked perfectly. I just didn’t have it in me to make small talk or dig deep into conversation. I just needed to sit and be invisible.
For you friends who don’t have “people personalities” like mine – I’m sorry. Sorry I never really understood what you were feeling when you mentioned you didn’t like being in crowds or put in situations where you needed to make small talk. To you who say you’d prefer to be anonymous or invisible I say, I get it now.
While sitting there experiencing all these new feelings, the only way I knew to pick my spirits up were to count my blessings. And so I began —
121. leaders who stretch me
122. a church where I can step out and use my gifts
123. my people personality
124. friends that understand my personality (and love me anyways)
125. the God who created me uniquely (even when I don’t get it)
126. a God I serve when I just show up
127. worship that brings a tear
128. a freshly waxed car by my hubby
129. me and all the kids curled up in the bed laughing
130. meeting new women
131. opportunity to share a message with new women (thanks Bonnie)
132. freshly brewed coffee each morning
133. a warm bed
134. with all the rain, knowing I have a dry place to sleep
135. sun peeping through the clouds
136. my mom who is on a mission trip
137. volunteers who step up to serve
138. a friend who arranged us to take birthday presents to a 2 year old we met at Adopt-a-Block (stop by tomorrow to read)
139. smiles of children blessed with unexpected gifts
140. a God who shows no favoritism
141. my pink shoes
142. inspired messages from God (God, I’m counting on you this week!)
I’m focusing on blessings today with Ann at A Holy Experience and Soli Deo Gloria.
This touched me so, Alene. Your list as well as your experience. I struggle with these feeling as I am a strong introvert who thrives on one-on-one contact. Not contact with the masses. But I know God wants me to participate amongst the masses at times…
I think next time I’ll strive to do what you so openly shared. I’ll recount my gifts. and show up. and rely on His promise that He’ll take care of the rest.
Thanks for encouraging me!
All for Him,
Nikki
Thank you, Nikki! I definitely have a new appreciation for those like you who are introverts. It is so hard to push ourselves out of our comfort zones, but I’m learning if I count the blessings awaiting me there it is a tad bit easier. Blessings friend!
Alene, I am one of those who rather be hidden – invisible. Oh and I am not the person to ask to talk in front of an audience either… but striving to get out of my comfort zone.
Blessings to you friend :)
Charina – striving to get out of our comfort zones — I think that’s where God wants us all. Depending on Him, stepping out, growing! Thanks.
I love this, and I simply adore you!!
This is lovely, and raw, and beautiful, and touching . . .
<3
Best of all?
It shines your heart as big as I am assuming the Texas sun is.
Ah Meredith – your words are so touching and encouraging! I am smiling. Thanks!
Hello, Alene, and thanks for visiting by way of Ann’s place. I love how God gets our attention by shaking us up a bit. A little uncomfortable at the time but SO WORTH IT :)
Being uncomfortable is just that — uncomfortable. But man, God can do so much with our uncomfortableness. I’m trying to get use to it, but not sure I ever will.
Some days in this small town I call home I long to be a face nobody recognizes. Except for God. Glad I’m never anonymous to Him. And my littlest one, Maggie, agrees with your “shoe praise.” Every night she thanks God for “sparkle shoes.”
Alicia – you make me smile! Your little ones thankfulness for sparkle shoes just warms my heart. Thanks for sharing!
LOVE this. I so get it. I’m a people-person, too, but sometimes I just can’t handle anymore craziness and I long for solitude. And I think that’s okay. Love how you started counting blessings, which is exactly what we SHOULD do.
I don’t long for solitude very often, girl. But I have to say that day I certainly did. Being invisible would have been really cool at that point. You warm my heart!
Worship that brings a tear… that is such a amazing moment when we are moved so much like that! All because of our deep love for Him! Yay for pink shoes! :)
I have to admit…. I am one of those that had to come out of my hiding place in order to meet people… Now I just think of people as one of the greatest gifts from God to me… and I have those “wish I was invisible” days from time to time… Those days, I lean close to Abba, and He reminds me… His glory is my rear guard and He covers me with favor as a shield…
I am thankful for you… and btw, I love this… 124. friends that understand my personality (and love me anyways)
What a blessing to have people that are real friends like that :)
Oh, dear.. can I be invisible too? I have made my appointments and I am going to counseling (again) and that is definitely way outside of my comfort zone..
Maybe I should make a list of my blessings to take with me.. do you know that is exactly what my brother does when I am upset and I never noticed it. He reminds me of how blessed I am. Wow.
1. a really BIG God
2. the very best brother ever
3. the people who write the blogs I read!