I wake up and I’m tired. It’s a tired I’m familiar with, but yet uncomfortable.
Rolling out of bed and sleepily making my way to the coffee pot (sure love hubby for making that early morning coffee), I sense the heaviness. It’s a heaviness that has grown and lingered. It’s a heaviness I carried around and refused to address.
It’s the burden of trying to please everyone else by pretending you can.
As moms, leaders, writers, bosses, employees, and artist we can do what it takes to accomplish the responsibilities at hand before us. We step in to the role boldly trying to move the agenda ahead. But at the end of the day after a long busy season we realize that all we are doing is not what we are called to do. We’re pretending to be somebody we’re not.
Sometimes when we pretend we can do it all we are actually keeping someone else from stepping into the role they were created and gifted for.
God gifts each one of us so uniquely. That unique gifting is what He expects you to use. He doesn’t want you to pretend you have different gifts. He doesn’t need you to switch gifts with another. No, He needs you to step out boldly with your gifting in the area He has called you.
Why do we pretend?
I think we pretend because we don’t want others to be let down and so we’ll measure up. Maybe even sometimes our pride sneaks in and helps us wear the mask of another well. And yet at times we can even enjoy the role of filling a responsibility that is needed. But pretending — it doesn’t help. It doesn’t grow others. It doesn’t grow us because we are . . . pretending!
Pretending seems to weave itself through my life. Pretending is tiring, but I feel freedom swooping through my soul as I return to my gifts, my calling, His way.
Check back tomorrow to see how I pretended when I was younger. I’ll be writing a letter to my teenage self and that’s where I learned to pretend very well. Would you like to join me in freeing your once young self? Read more about how to participate by clicking here.
Are you pretending? Is it wearing you out?
Linking up over at Ann’s Holy Experience, Intentional Me, and Getting Down with Jesus. Come visit, won’t you. Let’s talk about the habits of letting go.
I grew up a people pleaser and not wanting anyone to be disappointed with me. Someone told me a long time ago, that it’s not good to say Yes to everything, because sometimes in saying yes, you’re taking away something that should have been someone else’s. I never answer right away anymore. I take time to pray and ask if this is for me or for someone else.
I just wrote to my teen-age self:) Can’t wait to read yours!
Oh my girl – great thoughts. I’ve been trying to sort through the best way to answer opportunities. For years I always said, if someone asks you to help it’s as if God is asking you. so jump in. But after I’ve spent years jumping in and realize some of the places I jumped are lined up with my natural giftings, I’m totally praying through all this.
You teen-age self made me cry! Seriously, I’ve having a hard time going there for tomorrow.
have you been walking around in my head?! lol thanks for saying what i ‘ve been struggling to put into words.
blessings to you!
Hope that helps girl. This is an area I’ve really been struggling with for a few months now. Clarity and purpose is coming. It will come to you too — press in to God. He’ll reveal it all.
amen
Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by expectations that I feel like I go through the motions in a cloud. Getting it done, but not really engaged. I guess I have been pretending at times.
“Getting it done, but not really engaged.” Been there, done that. Probably still do that. But I’m ready to live engaged in my calling serving my God. Beautiful!!
Alene…this is so good because it resonates with so many…I am sure…namely ME!
“Sometimes when we pretend we can do it all we are actually keeping someone else from stepping into the role they were created and gifted for.”
My word…what a needed reminder that was for me! I love how you linked it to your letter to self you will share tomorrow….connects me to the wrongly learned behaviors of my teenage years and how Jesus sets me free…every day…
I thought I walked away from pretending a long time ago, but I have realized that I also pretend to be equipped for the things I *want* to do. As a mother of children with special needs, I pretend to be strong enough to do it on my own. I have been feeling the burden of this so deeply recently and feel I am burning out. I am reaching out to others now and beginning to feel it lift. Yet, I am left with this feeling of emptiness that can only be filled by the Spirit. With a steady stream he renews my will now as I turn to him in the morning.
Be blessed my friend and thank you for opening your heart on this subject.
I definitely think women in particular feel the need to pretend. It is tiring. I don’t really do it anymore, honestly, and it has been very freeing. :) Stopping by from SITS Sharefest.
Wow … where you with me this week when I was thinking about this? :)
This line really jumped out at me: “Sometimes when we pretend we can do it all we are actually keeping someone else from stepping into the role they were created and gifted for.”
I think I went to other extreme and tried to step back and let others do sooooo much that I was not effectively using my gifts in ways to benefit others. I am working it …
Stopping by from SITS!