Dear Pregnant Me in 1989,
I know you are embarrassed. And hurt. And scared.
I’m begging you: don’t kill your baby.
You know it’s wrong. What is that phrase you always say? “Personally opposed but publicly supportive”? Lemme tell you – that phrase was BS in 1989 and it will be BS in 2029. Abortion is wrong. I know that there are lots of people who don’t believe it’s wrong. They SAY they don’t believe it’s wrong. You know in your heart of hearts that saying something is true doesn’t make it true.
You know that someone would be thrilled to adopt this baby.
There are couples out there who would give anything to have this child in their lives. And you know what? You have beautiful children. Strong, healthy, handsome, smart. Just the kind of child every parent dreams of. When you get older, you will meet many, many people who struggle with infertility. Can’t you help them?
Killing the baby will not make him love you. He won’t appreciate your sacrifice.
I know you love him, but he is not good enough for you.
He is not half the man that the future father of your three sons is. You deserve a man who shares your values. You deserve a man who is fun to be with, but who has ambition. You deserve a man who is willing to become Catholic, because faith is an important part of your family. You deserve your husband. A man willing to be a husband. Not just a man who wants to pretend to be a husband, but have none of the responsibilities that go along with it.
Your mom & dad will be disappointed to learn that you got pregnant. But they will get over it. They love you. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to do your best. You wanna tell them you committed murder? I promise you – you will never bring yourself to tell them. You have to carry this alone. Your husband will know, one or two close girlfriends will know.
But your parents? Your siblings? They will never know.
Not because it would hurt them. Like I said, they will get over it. But you can’t.
You finished College already. You have a job. You are a grown up.
So act like one.
Take responsibility for your actions.
I’m not suggesting you keep your baby –
I really don’t think that is in her best interest. I know you’re a grown up, but you can’t give her a real family yet. Let her have a family. Let her go to preschool and make palm-print paintings for her mom. Let her make friends. Let her grow, and explore. Let her try and fail. Let her live.
The thing about murder is that it can’t be un-committed.
Maybe this would be easier if you went back to church. They won’t judge you – on the contrary! They want to save your baby’s life and they want to protect your eternal soul. Of course God will forgive you. It’s forgiving yourself that is hard.
The truth is, once she’s dead, she’s OK. Heaven is a good place for anyone. But you will live the rest of your life knowing that you were a coward today. You will move on. God will continue to bless you. He will become a bigger part of your life than you can ever know.
Do you think you are the only one having a baby without a husband?
Hello! It’s 1989! Hell, in 20 years, it won’t even be socially scandalous anymore.
What will you tell your boys? This is against everything you have taught them. There is a reason sex is reserved for a husband and wife. God knew what He was talking about. If you murder their sister, you will wish you could tell them that you were brave enough to give her a family, even though it’s not your family.
You will wish that with your whole heart.
Love –
An Ashamed Me in 2012
Dear Anonymous,
Your hurt stirs my heart. The truths of what you speak now need to be told to many a girl. I’m so thankful you are married with a family and God blessed you immeasurably more than you could imagine. May your heart continue to heal and may others learn as you share your story! Thank you for the rawness of your heart’s story.
Dear Reader,
Have you had or are you contemplating having an abortion? Please read and hear the truths behind this anonymous letter.
Dear Anonymous.. You have more strength than I can even word. Your RAW honesty, and level of pychological honesty is what I can only say, humbling as I read your words this morning. Thank you, thank you , thank you for giving truth, and understanding to those that might be contemplating such a decision . Having walked thru that journey myself, I know healing comes with expressing our hurts, and our emotions that the shame, or fears wants us to keep silently hidden. Thank you for finding your voice in this letter today.
I was the child, an adopted one and grateful!