31 Days of Anonymity is a 31 day series and I hope you’ll join in. The specifics about this series, how you can get involved, and all letters can be found by clicking here. I hope these letters written by anonymous souls give your silent hurt a voice.
Dear Husband,
I’m sorry. I am sorry that I don’t respect you the way that you deserve. I am sorry that I don’t love you as much as I should.
I pray for the Lord to change me, to give me that heart for you. And things will be better for a while, but then you go and do the stupid, irritating and selfish things that just drive me up the wall.
But really? I know the problem is me…
that I haven’t let go of the dreams that I never put into words. Those dreams about what kind of life I would have, what everything would look like. Because the reality, though it is beautiful and wonderful, is very different from that dream.
I never pictured myself living paycheck to paycheck, and not having enough left over some weeks for groceries or gas in the car. And it makes me so angry that you are so materialistic in nature that you can’t remember how it feels to be broke before the next payday when the paycheck first comes in.
Your motto “it never hurts to ask,” DOES HURT.
It hurts me inside every time I have to say NO, we can’t afford that stupid video game right now. NO, we don’t need to buy our six year old son the latest and most amazing football equipment. He is SIX.
But at the same time, I never dreamed that I would have such a perfect little family. Two boys who are content in their home, in their world. I never dreamed that I would watch God turn you from a mess up of a man with more baggage than we could afford to take on a commercial flight with us into a pastor whose words encourage, build up, and change me. I never dreamed that I would be the biggest hindrance to God using you . . . but I have been. And for that I am truly sorry.
I have to let the dream go. You will never be the type of man that works an 8 -5, business suit, kind of job. We will probably always live paycheck to paycheck. So in the meantime, I’ve been counting my blessings. I am almost to 1,000 — and despite it all, even though I don’t number you every single week, because that would kind of be cheating, and I like to be original, you are my biggest blessing here on Earth.
Please be patient with me, and don’t give up on me.
I do need you.
And I do love you.
And I almost always like you.
And in those times that I don’t, I pray that the Father will give me the grace and the wisdom to see the flaw in myself, instead of pointing the finger at you.
You bless me.
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for reminding us that sometimes our biggest struggles in relationships are also our biggest blessings! I know that’s hard to remember on those days when you are struggling. But keep your eyes on God, He’ll give you strength to hang on. And I always like to say, “stay committed to the commitment,” because there will be those days that are hard and it will be too cloudy to see the love. But that commitment you made to each other and God — that lasts forever despite the ups and downs. “Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:5 )
Dear Reader,
Is marriage an area you struggle? Or maybe you’ve struggled before and have awesome encouragement to offer? Please comment below. FEEL FREE TO COMMENT AS ANONYMOUS.
Great idea for 31 days! love it.
I love this letter to the husband. Every day we abide with the man God gave us and will be challenged to lay down our expectations at the cross. Forgiveness will need to be a regular part of our everyday lives. I love that author of this letter knows to shift her focus on the blessings and the work God has already done in their lives. God has brought my husband a great way and changes my perspective when I focus on that.
Thank you anonymous!
Thanks Kimberly! I agree. Seeing the blessings is key. If we miss that we’ll surely give up at the drop of a hat. I think most married people can see so much truth behind these precious words here. . . “and I almost always like you.” Hang on to the commitment!!! Blessings to you and our Anonymous writer!!
This path you’re on, this 31 days of anonymity, is POWERFUL! You’re speaking into what most are afraid to say or even admit. Thank you for being obedient to His leading.
Seeing how God has worked through the situations is so powerful! I love that the fear of speaking is gone. It’s then that we can learn from one another. This story really touches me my heart. Those every day relationships that we have to fight for can be a battle. So thankful Anonymous has surrendered to God and counts the blessings! Learning here for sure!!!
You are so brave to share your struggle to love your husband perfectly. On this side of heaven, we will all fall short. But HIS grace abounds! So grateful for the men and women who walk beside my husband and I and challenge us to dig a little deeper. I have learned this year the value of respecting my husband and allowing him to be our leader. I can only change me and my responses, and I choose to have the heart of Jesus, moment by moment. The blessings are pouring into our lives as we let HIM be our teacher in all things.
I was so thankful for this letter too! I think many of married woman could relate on some level. Having those that challenge us to persevere and go deeper are such a blessing. OK -sometimes I feel like they are a thorn too – but I so need the accountability in my life. Surrendering to God’s will and letting your hubby lead isn’t always easy. Well, it surely wasn’t for me . . . maybe I’m the only one?? :)
I have often been the voice of temperance in my marriage with my husband and spending. It is sometimes very frustrating. He is so frustrating. But I love him and always will.
Oh Lisa – l love how you write frustrating . . . but you love him always! Isn’t that true love any ways. For better or worse! Needed these words today. Thanks friend!
What an absolutely beautiful ‘husband’ letter. You have the right heart, so cherish the moments, even the rough ones, for one day he may be gone and you will long for those times again!!
Isn’t this a great reminder and oh so true . . . for one day he may be gone. Thanks for reminding us why it is all so important to focus on those blessings and not those frustrations. Your sweet reminder of how uncertain and swift our days are reminder me to be more tolerant and count the blessings quicker. Beautiful!
Wow. Powerful and something many women can relate to.
I can so relate to this wife. It took me 20 years to come clean with my husband and that I wanted more from our marriage. I too prayed and asked God to change my attitude and he show me that humility was what I needed more of and admit I needed to make some changes in how I acted towards him. We are happily married for 47 years and I pray God will allow our marriage to continue to grow in love and respect. I appreciate this woman’s honesty.
Thankful for those 20 years that you hung on waiting for more. So many these days call it quits before they are brave enough to voice their needs. And your truth about it all begins with us is so true. Asking God to change our own hearts first is so critical. I know in my own life I’m quick to ask God to change hubby and everyone else before me. Thanks for your 47 years of marriage that are a great example to so many! We need great examples in the world today! Blessings.
Wow.. That was amazing. I’m going through this with my husband.
The way you speak and your commitment. Wow.. Thank you so much for your letter. This has touch me in so many ways. Thank you!!
I am praying for you now. It is a tough season when you are there fighting for your marriage, but stick it out with the confidence and perseverance that you get from Christ. He has the power to change every circumstance – including your heart, your husbands heart, and all the circumstances. I agree this anonymous letter is touching many. I’m thankful to have these words too.
Getting sucked into these posts…the raw emotion these people write with, very admirable.
Thi is a great series of feeling and tribulations-I am listening to it and its solutions.It really hits home for many.God bless you.From anita in Corpus Christi-thanks so much.
i almost always like you, that can sum things up…we are parenting a child with extreme special needs and boy that puts pressure on! love this series, love all the letters so far cant wait for more!xx