Dear Church Member,
I trusted you!
When I was seven I put my trust in you, as an adult, and it made me angry that you took advantage of that trust and sexually abused me.
For 20 years I believed it was my fault and those are years that I can never get back. You took away my innocence. You robbed me of my joy. All those years I believed I was going to hell for the sins I committed. It took years for me to even tell anyone because I was so afraid of the judgment I would receive.
Due to the constant guilt
I felt I resorted to drinking to drown out the pain. I wasn’t secure enough to succeed at my job or in relationships. My view of God was so warped. I viewed Him as a God of punishment and conditional love that I could never earn.
God never stopped pursuing a relationship with me,
even though I turned and tried to walk away from Him. God surrounded me with people to show me His true characteristics and to show me about love and forgiveness. I can now say that wholeheartedly I forgive you.
After counseling I came to know that I am valuable and the abuse wasn’t my fault. My anger melted away because I realized that without that experience as a child, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
Without this experience, I may have sat on a church pew forever and never formed a love relationship with my God or got to experience all He has in store for me as His servant.
Dear Anonymous,
Oh how my heart stirs and beats with holy anger! I know the world is the world and people are people — but when abuses happen within the church THERE IS NO EXCUSE. I hope he was relieved from his position. But more than anything, I am so thankful you NOW are free and full of God’s love. I’m thankful you’ve realize how VALUABLE you are. It was never your shame to bare — only that of the abuser. Many prayers!
Dear Reader,
Have you ever been violated? Does the shame linger today? If so, please know that the shame you feel is of the evil one. You’ve done nothing wrong. You are valuable and worthy. You are loved so dearly by Jesus! and me . . .
This experience of yours is wrong on so many levels. First, abuse of any kind is just plain wrong. But, when it happens within the Church amongst people who are supposed to be righteous followers of Christ, the sin just takes on a whole new level of “wrongness”. So glad you realized that it wasn’t your fault and have found peace in the Savior.
How my heart cringes with anger at those we put in authority that have abused such a privilege! But I’m doubly thankful that God has healed your heart and drawn you to His true love!!
Isn’t it amazing how children take the wrong perpetrated on them by adults or others and try to make it their fault. My heart hurts for you, sweet one. You are VALUABLE and you are loved!!