Who am I? What am I suppose to be doing? Which path do I take? Whose team am I on?
If you’ve visited this blog much you know we look at these questions often, as it seems to be a way of life for me. As Positively Alene was born, I was seeking and searching to know the answers to those questions, and the meaning of my life. And here I am today wondering, if . . .
Any one else is asking those same questions?
After years of important questions racing through my mind —
who am I
what am I supposed to do
what am I good at
do I have a specific purpose
— it seems the battle still rages on. The battle between my purpose and the Lord’s purpose.
There’s the purpose that wants to seek the Lord wholeheartedly and be about His business, not caring what others might think. That purpose wants to be so assured that what it does will make a difference for the Kingdom. That purpose longs to give it all up and serve others. But then . . .
Oh wait, there’s that purpose that seeks success, big numbers (counts, followers, friends), lots of money and a name for itself. That purpose that gets lost in the you can have it all and do it all mode of thinking. That purpose that wants it to be all about me. me. me. me.
I’m sure the Lord is asking me, “Whose team are you on, girl?”
So, as the battle rages on, I’m learning a few things. We’ll talk more tomorrow.
For now, how about you? Do you feel a battle raging?
What are your thoughts about the quarrel of two purposes?
Please do tell me I’m not the only crazy one!
Practicing Walking with God over at A Holy Experience today. Do come visit!
Ummm, yes, I'm right there with you. In fact, I had quite the ministry pity party on Monday.
I knew all the right answers. I knew that I was called to ministry. I knew that God would do what he knows is best for me and bring me the ministry opportunities that He wants me to have. I knew all that, but sometimes ministry is just overwhelming. Especially if you begin to compare yours to someone else’s. That is deadly. I wanted to just throw up my hands and say, “I quit.” But I couldn’t. I know I’m called. I know God has blessed me with amazing ministry opportunities, even if they are not the ones I wanted. I know He has not said, “Ok, quit.” It took my husband calling me out on my attitude to remind me that ministry isn’t about me at all and it is prideful for me to think it is.
Oh no, you are not alone. Love you, friend.
Oh yes, I can totally relate. I am part of a House of Prayer and I am on worship teams. But I am not as gifted as the others and find myself questioning God's purpose for me there. I know He looks at the heart and it doesn't matter that I am not as good as others, or I don't see myself in that light. What matters is the heart. I know that I am singing/praying for Him. It's all for His glory!
Alene, you are not crazy and you are not the only one.
I think this world is getting so pre-occupied with success being measured with the amount of money you have or how famous you are. That doing something for Him or spreading His word is beyond the norm….so the battle goes on….
I guess the question here is "are we ready to give all this up for Him?"
All good things.
So excited to get get to know you Alene. I love A Holy Experience too…it helps me stay focused. And daily, since the ten years ago that I quit my job to raise my girls, I have to fight to remind myself that I am seeking the Lord and that is important. The daily work I do is important if it is done to for the Lord. (Do you know the Steven Curtis Chapman song I am referencing?)
Can't wait to read more.
Linked this post with you Alene…hope you don't mind.
http://charinabrooks.wordpress.com/2012/01/18/seeking-his-purpose/
Blessings!
Thanks for this message. I was just talking with a friend about Proverbs 29:18 and waiting for God's vision (purpose) for our lives. This post was the perfect supplement to that scripture.
Every one of your comments have left my heart encouraged. Thank you! I love a community where we can share, be real, and inspire each other onward in this journey! Praying for you.
Thanks for linking up, CharinaBrooks! Love it.