Dear Neighbor,
Remember that day last year when you came to my door yelling?
Had you just come to speak to me rationally things wouldn’t have gotten out of hand. Yelling at my 13 year old, 4’9″ daughter because you are upset at my son is inappropriate and a grown man shouting at little girl borders on harassment in my book.
When I inquired why you were yelling at my daughter, you just yelled at me more and said I was raising a little liar. Thank you for telling me I’m a bad parent and that I am raising out of control children.
I’m really am sorry my son was driving too fast around the corner and sparked your anger.
However, that does not make me a bad mother!
That makes my son careless and my daughter an innocent victim. If you could just please talk to me (not shout), I will talk to him. But your anger and accusations of a bad mother? Really? You know nothing about me.
You don’t know that I have worked a part time job for years specifically so that I can be home in the mornings to see them off to school and afternoons when my kids come in the door. You don’t know that I have been to every ball game, every parent teacher conference, and every award ceremony, helped with homework for hours and have home cooked meals on the table almost every night. You don’t know that we pray together as a family and read scripture together. I take my children to church every Sunday and to their mid week youth activities.
But, you say I’m a bad mother.
You don’t know that my “out of control” son would drop anything to help someone in need. He earned his Eagle Scout award. Do you know how much service you have to do for that? You do not even know that he has chosen to give up two years of his life to serve God and Community away from home. But, according to you, he is “out of control.”
I’m sorry that after you left I wept openly.
I wept for the loss of mine and my daughter’s security and our peace. And, I wept because I am a bad mother. I’m sorry that in an attempt to restore a bit of my daughters security I had to add a security door to my home. I am sorry that to this day, she still is afraid to answer the door. And I am sorry that I am still nursing those wounds; they are deep.
I am so grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. Over the last year, I have come to realize that he suffered not only for my sins but to take away the pain of other’s trespasses against us. Even though you have never offered an apology to me or my daughter, I have read in Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV) it says “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
I note that this does not say right now, or two days from now, but that it just must be done. He requires me to forgive and that’s a process. I have worked through my feelings for the last year and have leaned on my Savior many times to ease the burden of my hurt.
Although I will never invite you over for pie and ice cream, I can now drive past your home without feeling the sting of pain and the resentment towards you. My heart cries out and I hope and pray that you can find the peace and forgiveness from our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Your words wound deeply,
but I’m thankful to Jesus for reminding me that a bad mother – I’m not.
Dear Anonymous,
As a mom, my heart stirs. There is nothing that gets a mama angrier than someone messing with her children. It’s hard when offenses come so close to home. Especially if they are just a door or two away. I’m so thankful for your forgiving heart. What an example for your children!! I’m also thankful you can see those hurtful words for what they are — untruths of hurt. When situations arise like this it is great to remember — hurt people hurt people! Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart. I think you are a fabulous example to your children and many others.
Dear Reader,
Do you struggle with forgiving those who have hurt your children? If you’re a mom, you know what a struggle this can be. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT ANONYMOUSLY.
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Wonderfully written! I think it should be quietly slipped into his mailbox. It might make him think twice about becoming angry and how he uses his words.
From one momma to another. . .You are doing a great job!!!
(I didn’t see how to comment anonymously)
Great idea. But he might just figure out who that letter was from, in case of course he’s been yelling at them all. :) Hopefully something has shaken him twice and made him think about his actions.
His words were definitely uncalled for!!!
My neighbor blew up at me about a year ago during a very fragile time of my life. I had never ever spoken to this man before and he came over ballistic over my dog. What he didn’t know was how much his anger and words cut me to the core. I was emotionally not in a good place and he made things so much worse. I was able to eventually take a step back and understand his frustration over my dog. I honestly didn’t realize that he was getting out of my yard and into his. Yet I will not forget how he made me feel. I too have let to of the resentment I was having because it was eating away at me. I wave as I drive by but he too will not be invited over for pie and coffee!
It’s those we are close to that hurt us the most. I guess because we are around them the most often, whether it is family or neighbors. I’m sorry you too had to experience this. The hurt from random rude comments lingers so long.
Sticks and Stones DO hurt, as well as hurtful words!
Blessings to you both. I pray and give thanks for the graciousness you extended!
What a beautifully written letter! I so appreciate the way in which you have shared/allowed God to work forgiveness in you. You are a true reflection of Christ to your children and hopefully your neighbor as well!
I love the example she set for her children too! We should all be so mindful to bite our tongues and hold our heads high, even when crazy neighbors show up at the door. Beautiful words, thank you!