when you try to put a year into words.

It’s hard to believe a year has come and gone. It’s as if a flash of goodness has swooshed by and I find myself wanting to grasp it and hold it dear.

Every year I try to recap experiences, your favorite posts, and try to make some kind of sense out of my last 365 days. But this year, I’m left breathless. Words are hard to form. Thoughts don’t come together with dictionary words.

I vividly remember sitting here last new year’s eve almost growling because I didn’t have goals. I had prayed and discerned and consulted mentors and yet — no goals. I was frustrated as I’m a goal-driven girl. But what 2013 taught me was beyond written goals.

To tell the story

January — what if I don’t have a dream any more

While January was a frustrating month as I felt directionless without goals, God moved in ways (that I can now see) that prepared me for my journey ahead. I began blogging for The Exodus Road and got my first up-close-and-personal look at human trafficking. God continued to bless Taking it to the Streets as I learned to trust Him as Jehovah Jireh.

February — what glittery pink nails can teach you

Still struggling with the fact that I had no apparent goals, I set out on a mission trip to Guatemala with Jeff Goins and the Wrecked gang. I was so moved by that country. The poverty was beyond anything that I’d seen. The need was great. And while we poured ourselves into the community during the day, by evening the team of 20 had time to worship and visit. As I entered a conversation with Jeff he says, “I think you should forget goals and just live for God’s purposes.”

What? Had he been reading my mind or my journal.

Then on our last day there, a person who I had no visited with sat down beside me on a bus. Eventually he looked at me and says, “Stop living for your goals and live for God’s purposes.” That was enough scary and I took it as God was speaking to me in surround to make sure I got the message loud and clear. With that as awkward as it seemed I gave up the notion for concrete goals for 2013.

I continued to learn about the homeless and ways to serve them. I was happy to write and share 4 ways you and your family can bless the homeless.

March — you can not move beyond where you are until . . . 

I walked in to March full of fear and doubt. God was nudging me towards more work on the streets and to take a team back to Guatemala. Who was I? I didn’t feel like I had enough knowledge nor resources. That’s when I learned to TRUST on a whole different level. I was learning to live uncomfortably.

April — an invitation to Guatemala

With the nudging of friends, I invited you all to join me back in Guatemala. I sat wondering if anyone would want to go. I had jumped off the ledge and hoped that God would provide the most awesome team to go back and serve the Potter’s House.

May — it’s happening in your city too

After seeing the vision God had placed in my mind for Taking it to the Streets come to life and the ministry explode overnight, I witnessed human trafficking first hand. It’s time we wake up and realize there’s a very dark world out there that we each need to be shining our lights in. Once you have seen you can not ignore the need.

June — Graffiti Summer

Along with many others we began our six-week challenge from my book Graffiti. Lives were changed and people were served. It doesn’t get much better than that!

July — operation baby rescue

Just when I think my heart can take the streets and what it throws my way, my life is wrecked when a mom is ready to hand her baby over to a stranger. Church — it’s time we wake up and serve the broken.

I’m continually learning there aren’t answers for the messy places of life.

August — when the need feels great and you seem small

Learning to trust and just follow God’s purposes has been a rocky road. My heart has been broken in more ways that I can put in to coherent words. I wouldn’t trade the journey, but there are days when I wonder if my small contribution even makes a difference. But I’m realizing it’s my time to fight for others.

September — let’s talk human trafficking

My world has been turned upside down. My time on the streets and in the clubs have led me to see things I care not to see. But with seeing comes knowledge and responsibility. This month I’ve been thrown full force in to the plight of human trafficking and the needs of those caught in modern day slavery. I’m digging in. I’m learning. Lord, please use small little me to make a difference and help free your children.

October — who’s going to Guatemala

I trusted. God delivered. An incredible team of 20 left to serve Guatemala for a week. Lives were changed (mainly ours) and children were sponsored from the Potter’s House. God’s glory reigned ever so brightly as we watched an erupting volcano the night before we left. We will be going back! You want to come?

November — it’s time to remodel your life

As the year begins to draw to a close, I realize with all the wear and tear on my soul this year, it’s time for an inside remodel job. I’m excited to launch my new book in January. Hope you’ll come along. There’s renewal and refreshment waiting ahead.

December — a night on the streets and Christmas miracles

There aren’t words to describe this year. But here’s a few: Stretching. Learning. Trusting. Frustrating. Doubting. Believing. Witnessing. Crying. Praying. Seeing.

God needed me goal-less so that His purposes could be pursued. I never would have conjured up the journey He took me on this year. May I learn to trust even deeper, further beyond borders.

As I head into 2014 with no  concrete goals, I’m not quiet as anxious as I was last year. But trusting and believing are becoming my best friends.

Here’s wishing you the most unbelievable 2014!